"Humper Family Values"

Starring Hilda, Harriet and Henry Humper in:
"Humper Family Values"
Written by Victor C. Nathan and Chantal Lefleur
This is a story of a scintillating sexual journey. It's a tale of
pleasurable and wonderful sexual discoveries.


"I swear, fastening this bra gets harder every day," Hilda Humper
fumed to herself as she struggled to close the hooks and eyes on her
triple J-cup bra. "These boob bags of mine seem to have a mind of
their own sometimes."

Finally getting it fastened around her awesome melons after a lengthy
struggle, Hilda pulled on a pair of panties and went to her closet to
find something to wear.

"Everything I have is getting so tight," she moaned, fiddling with
her bazooms before trying to find something suitable. "If I didn't
know better, I'd think these big fuckers of mine were still growing,
tee hee hee."

Just as she was pulling out a pair of slacks and a blouse, Hilda
could hear the sound of the phone ringing and crossed to the other
side of her bedroom to answer the phone that sat on her night table.
Hilda's jugs wobbled up and down as she moved. Reaching past her huge
knockers, she grabbed the phone and pulled it to her ear.

"Hello?" she answered sweetly, moving her bra strap up to a
comfortable position on her shoulder, feeling the full tonnage of her
boobs hanging against the cups as she discarded her blouse and slacks
for the moment. She sat down on the edge of the bed in just her white
bra and panties. "Oh, hi, Tammy."

"Hi, Hilda. How the fuck are ya?" came a slightly inebriated voice on
the other end of the line. "Hopefully fuckin' fantastic. Tee hee hee!
I know we are, fuckin' fantastic, that is! Humper family life at its
motherfuckin' best!"

"Wow, Tammy Faye. It sounds like somebody's had a couple today. Tee
hee. What is it? Twelve o'clock?" Hilda asked, reaching inside her
brassiere to pinch on her nipple a little bit.

"That's motherfuckin' Humper happy hour, Hilda!" the intoxicated
relative cackled, eliciting a wincing smile from Hilda.

Tammy Faye Humper was the wife of Rusty "Boobie" Humper, the son of
June's brother, Ira. Boobie's name had come about because his
favorite activity had always been slipping his enormous hard-on
between his mother's gargantuan globes, earning him the sobriquet.
Boobie and Tammy Faye lived in West Virginia, and had two children,
Norma Jean and Boobie Jr.

"So, how the fuck are ya?" Hilda asked sweetly, patting a bit of
cleavage into place that was overflowing her bra. "How are Boobie and
the kids?"

"Oh, they're fuckin' terrific," Tammy said, slurring every word as
she raised a glass to her mouth again and took another swig of Jim
Beam on the rocks, her favorite poison. "Boobie Jr. is doing so much
gooder in school lately. I think sucking his wee wee every night
before bed has really helped him and shit. He seems a hell of a lot
less stressed out, I'll fuckin' tell ya that."

"I guess getting a little regular squirt out of him probably calms
him down. From what I remember, he was sort of a dumbass in school
before, wasn't he?" Hilda said seriously, lasciviously pinching some
of the flesh of her boobies. "I guess he must be up to a straight D
minus average by now."

"Yeah, Hilda," Tammy replied, her own blouse and bra lying on the
floor as she watched Jerry Springer topless and chatted on the
phone. "And me and Boobie Sr. are so fuckin' proud of little Boobie
too! That boy could end up being another Alfred Einstein. Tee hee. I
mean, he does read sometimes. Pornos and shit. That boy must have a
fuckin' hard-on every damn fuckin' time I see that naughty little
sumbitch. Tee hee hee. I can't hardly keep him off my titties. Always
pawing at 'em and shit. Tee hee. So I just quit fuckin' trying."

"And how is Norma Jean these days?" Hilda asked Tammy, as Hilda
tinkered around with her proud set of honkers.

"Oh, that fuckin' girl has grown so fuckin' much, Hilda!" Tammy said,
giggling for no reason. "Not to use a Halloween symbol, but her boobs
must be the size of motherfuckin' pumpkins by now! They have really
fuckin' grown. I mean, you don't get that many damn Jerry beads if
you ain't fuckin' stacked like a busty bitch, now do you?"

"How many sets of Jerry beads does she have?" Hilda inquired,
wondering why she had never seen Norma Jean or her 'motherfuckin'
pumpkins' in the audience when she watched Jerry most evenings.

"Oh, she's got a shit load, Hilda," Tammy Faye said proudly, puffing
out her chesty charms as she beamed with maternal pride. "Didn't you
know a lot of Jerry's guests are relatives of mine, Hilda? Shit,
cousin Bob's been on the show, you know. The episode where he was in
love with his wife's sister's third cousin's niece? They really got
into it on that one. Bob's fuckin' crazyass wife has a left hook
that's positively deadly. She nearly knocked old Bob on his ass with
those tits of hers before Jerry's bouncers separated 'em. Make sure
you watch next Tuesday. I think Aunt Alice.......you remember Aunt
Alice don't you? Well, Alice has been gettin' boned pretty good by
her husband's Uncle Jimbob. That show will be a fuckin' hoot!"

"Yeah, it sounds like it," Hilda told her flatly, her whole hand
inside her bra at this point, pulling hard on her bulging breast in
various places. "How are you and Boobie doing?"

"Well, Boobie is still doing good as a mattress salesman. Tee hee. He
is number one in sales out of their two salesmen. Tee hee. Except I
kinda think ol' Boobie might be doing a little fuckin' mattress-
testing with some of them fuckin' female customers. But who really
gives a fuck, right? He's so tired when he gets home from work, I
figgered he'd have to be doin' a little fuckin' huffin' and puffin'
with some of them girls down there that come in. I mean, they do have
some big jugs, some of them blondes."

"Wonderful to hear," Hilda spoke in a monotone to her insane
relative, who was a bit on the white trash side. "But when he gets
home, Norma Jean manages to cheer him up. Ol' Big Boobie just can't
keep his hands offa her fuckin' jugs. And of course, she plays with
his boner sometimes after dinner. Nothin' too serious. I mean, they
are both just having a little fuckin' fun, except on weekends when he
sometimes gives her the ol' one-eyed monster sometimes."

"Do Boobie Jr. and Norma Jean get along?" Hilda asked, wondering now
how she could politely end this conversation in the not too distant
future and play with her massive teats a little bit. "Henry's been
away at his grandparents' farm all summer and even though I miss him,
it's been nice not to have to listen to him fight with Harriet all
the fucking time."

"Oh, mine fight too sometimes, Hilda. I reckon it ain't no big deal
or nothin'. I mean, they're siblings after all. But now that they've
started sharin' the same room every night, they's gettin' on a little
better it seems."

"They.......um........share a bedroom?" Hilda asked, fondling her
nipples absent-mindedly with her free hand. "You mean they sleep in
the same room, but in separate beds, right?"

"Hell, no," Tammy Faye responded with a hearty laugh. "Those two
younguns are in there humpin' up a fuckin' storm most nights."

"Wow, you mean the kids really........I mean, they actually......?"

"Oh, shit, yeah," Tammy Faye said, slapping her knee as she roared
with laughter. "Those kids have more fun than a barrel of monkeys in
the sack, ya know? I think it's great for a family to be close, don't
y'all? Livin' out here in the country like we do, we spend a lot of
time together. Why, just this morning, we all climbed into the shower
together. It conserves water, ya know. And besides that, it's funner
than shit! Boobie Jr. and Sr. were just havin' a fuckin' blast
lathering up our titties, and drawing funny faces in the foam. Norma
Jean and I went through almost a whole bottle of that Dial liquid
soap trying to get a good lather going on our menfolk's big dicks,
tee hee hee. Norma Jean got so much lather on her daddy's cock that
it looked like some fuckin' piece of modern art."

"Holy shit," Hilda breathed softly, stretching and pulling on her
malleable mam. "So you are also doing Boobie Jr. and Boobie Sr. is
boning Norma Jean? Holy shit!"

"Holy shit is right, Hilda! We's some Humpers, and we like us some
sex! I mean, Norma Jean gets almost hungry for her daddy's wee wee
sometimes! I mean, that girl is hungry for some fuck out here in the
country, and ol' Big Boobie doesn't exactly need to be begged. He'll
slip her the tallywhacker, just shove it right into what he calls
her 'cute little box'. Tee hee. Ain't that some funny shit, Hilda?"

"Hilarious, Tammy," Hilda managed, letting go of her tittie as her
mouth dropped slowly open, surprised and feeling somewhat inadequate
in a weird way she couldn't quite describe. "And Boobie Jr. will bury
his boner in me anytime I get a tingle in my pussy. Oh, damn, Hilda,
that boy just twangs my buds! Hilda? Hilda?"

"Sorry, Tammy Faye. I'm still here," Hilda said into the receiver as
she fanned her face with a piece of newspaper that was on her bed. "I
just felt a little faint there for a minute, but I'm okay now."

"I'm tellin' ya, Hilda," Tammy continued, unaware that the person on
the other end of the line was finding her words a bit
unsettling. "You and Harriet should let that overendowed boy of yours
slip you both the big one from time to time. They're ain't nothin'
like it. Shit, most weekends we don't even leave the house. There
ain't no need to go lookin' for what you can find right here at home,
right? I gotta tell ya, our family ain't never been as close to one
another as we are now, and a suckin' and a fuckin's what did it, no
doubt of that. Anyway, I'm guessin' that I've talked your ear right
offa your head by now."

"But I'll tell you what, Hilda. There ain't nothin' better than the
kind of fun fucking times we have in this crazy motherfuckin'
trailer," Tammy Faye Humper continued to chatter on, obliviously
drunk as she pulled her drink off her tits and took another sip as
the Springer show wound up with Jerry's closing thought. "Oh, shit,
Hilda! Our life is so much fun! When I'm not drunk, I'm gettin' a
good scrumpin' from one of my two big Boobies! And both of 'em have
big hogs in their pants, them big eleven inchers those two horny
toads have between their legs can make you jump up and beg for some
wee wee. I'm so horny all the fuckin' time, I can't think straight.
Of course, that could be the whiskey. Ha ha ha!"

"Yeah, I understand," Hilda managed, disregarding her whoppers and
readjusting their two big bags. "Sounds like your family is one big
happy family."

"Yeah, I reckon it is," Tammy Faye replied thoughtfully as the ice
clinked against the glass she had just refilled with Jim Beam. "For
the first time I feel like an honest to God, true and genuine Humper,
ya know? Marryin' into the family made me feel like a outsider for a
while, but now I feel just like kin. Ain't it great?"

"Just wonderful," Hilda replied, Tammy Faye's words reverberating in
her head for some reason. "I'm really happy for you, Tammy Faye.
Really. I am."

"Well, I'm guessin' I've been taking up too much of your time, Hilda.
But it sure was nice talkin' to you again. We really should keep in
touch more often, don't ya think? Anyway, give my love to the kids,
and a big ol' kiss to Henry's wee wee from me when he gets back. Bye,
Hilda."

"Yeah, b-bye, Tammy," Hilda stammered uncomfortably, shifting her
udders in her bra to situate them as she hung up the phone. She
almost felt like she had been sucker-punched in the titties by the
phone call. "True and GENUINE Humper. TRUE and GENUINE. She feels
like a TRUE and GENUINE Humper now. What am I? A pseudo-Humper? I
mean, the woman feels like more of a Humper than I feel like a
Humper? There is just something not FUCKING right about this picture.
Could I have been wr-wr-wrong for all this time, not utilizing, not
taking advantage of the gifts, the resources, the, the.........cock
and balls?"

The busty and stacked blonde Humper sat motionless for a second, not
even bothering to get dressed, still just sporting her bra and
panties, and she thought and thought about what the rather trashy
Tammy Faye Humper had told her about Humper family life in Tammy's
tacky trailer in a Springeresque trailer park.

"Could it be that I've been wrong all these years?" Hilda asked
herself rhetorically, slipping a hand into her cleavage with a tissue
to wipe the film of perspiration that was developing there. "I mean,
I've given Henry's tallywhacker the odd workout with my hand or
between my boobies. I've even given his huge fucker a kiss or a
wiggler, but I never even considered letting him go further. June
once said that I should give Henry a blow job because she 'knew I
wanted to'...was she right? I am so confused!"

"Mom, I'm home!" came Harriet's familiar voice as she entered the
front door of the house, tits first, and slammed it hard enough to
echo throughout their home. "Mom?"

"Up here, sweetie," Hilda called out in response, still sitting on
the bed, only half paying attention to her daughter's voice and now
totally neglecting her J-cuppers. "I'm in my bedroom."

"And you're alone up there?" Harriet shouted back, her hooters
jiggling back and forth under her cheerleading outfit that
accentuated her full figure so beautifully as she headed up the
stairs.

"Yeah, I'm alone!" Hilda shouted back, reaching for her blouse at
last and stretching it over her jiggly fleshy mountaintops.

"I thought you'd probably be getting a poke from somebody," Harriet
laughed, bounding up and down at the chest as she walked into the
room. "Normally somebody's giving you a little pokey with their wee
wee at this time on a Saturday afternoon."

"Nope, no pokey and no wee wee in my pussy right now," Hilda spoke
slowly, smoothing her blouse's material at the bosom region, her
ladybumps bunching it out tremendously as she tried not to convey her
troubled emotional state to her daughter.

"Hi, Mom," said Harriet cheerily, flopping down on the bed beside her
mother and blowing bubbles with her gum as her hooters jumped. "Were
you talking to someone on the phone just now?"

"Yeah, sweetie, I was," Hilda replied absent-mindedly. "Your Auntie
Tammy Faye called from West Virginia for a talk."

"That's that fucking redneck wing of the family, isn't it?" Harriet
asked, wondering why her mother seemed a bit subdued, something that
was entirely out of character for Hilda Humper, a woman who normally
was busy bouncing her big titties around and grabbing for the nearest
wee wee. "Don't they live in a trailer or some shit?"

"That's the family," Hilda told Harriet as she pulled on a pair of
slacks over her round sexy Humper ass. "She was telling me all about
Norma Jean and Boobie Jr. and you won't believe what she told me."

"What did she say?" Harriet asked, sitting up and adjusting her
breasts within her bra to accommodate the change in position.

"She told me that Boobie Jr. and Norma Jean are.....ummmmm....doin'
it, I guess you could say," Hilda said in almost a reporter-like
voice, her heavy globes heaving with the breath she took. "The two
kids, fraternal twins, as you know, share a bedroom."

"With separate beds, you mean. Right?" Harriet inquired, pulling off
her cheerleading sweater and getting down to her bra. "Sorry, Mom.
But after cheerleading practice, the 'girls' need to get a little
air. These puppies are sweatin' like shit."

"Yeah, go ahead, sweetie," her big-boobed mother told her with a wave
of her hand, continuing to talk. "No, I mean they both sleep in the
same bed. They share the same bed every night and they....they....get
it on...I mean, like all the time, is what Tammy said. She was drunk
and watching Jerry Springer again."

"She still watches that shit?" Harriet said, swallowing her gum and
reaching for a fresh piece as she massaged her sweaty boobs. "Well, I
guess that really doesn't surprise me. It seems that every time I
turn that show on, one of her crazy relatives is either part of the
show or in the audience showing off their tits for a string of Jerry
beads. It's fucking hilarious. My friends and I watch it all the time
when we need a good old fashioned belly laugh. I just don't let on
that I know some of those stupid fuckers."

"Yes, baby," Hilda said, patting her daughter affectionately on her
left breast. "But do you know what really bothers me? That woman,
that moron, that redneck piece of shit whore said that SHE now felt
like a TRUE AND GENUINE HUMPER! What the fuck are we, chopped liver?"

"She feels like a real Humper and she and her family do all that
weird shit?" Harriet asked, cooing as the cool air hit the tops of
her H-cup juggernauts. "We're real Humpers, and we don't do that
messed up shit."

"But maybe she feels like a TRUE and GENUINE Humper because Humpers
are supposed to fuck, sweetie," Hilda replied, patting Harriet's
other breast in a purely affectionate and motherly way. "We're
supposed to provide pleasure wherever we are, to make wee wees
tingle, to whip our titties out and make men hard. The male Humpers
are supposed to use their huge wee wees to make the women tingle and
their supposed to be tit-men in all circumstances and suck all the
boobs they can get their mouths on, the bigger the better. That's
what being a Humper is about, sweetie. It's about SEX and pure
pleasure at all costs, but mainly with no costs and not too many
strings, and very little romance, hopefully. That's Humperism, in a
nutshell."

"What are you talking about?" Harriet asked her, confused at her
stacked parent's sudden vehemence.

"Think of it this way," Hilda said patiently, trying to think of the
most appropriate words to express her thoughts. "Henry's big fucker
is a natural resource, is it not? And our big fucking knockers are
natural resources as well. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Harriet responded, giggling at the comparison of
her huge sacks of titmeat to 'resources'. "I guess you could say that
our titties are the ninth fucking wonder of the modern world, tee hee
hee."

"Now," Hilda continued, so serious now that she had even stopped
playing with her own tits. "We aren't taking full advantage of those
natural resources, are we? We're letting them go to fucking waste. Do
you see that?"

"So what you're saying is that we should be doing like those redneck
morons in West fucking Virginia and sucking and fucking Henry?"
Harriet asked incredulously, not sure if she had understood her
mother correctly. "Is THAT what you're saying, Mom?"

"I'm saying that it might not be a bad idea. I mean, Henry has a
twelve inch cock, sweetie, and not just that, but it's fucking thick
too. That thing must feel like a truck going in when he sticks it in
a girl's pussy. I mean, it's like a fucking monster. Think of what
kind of pleasure he could give to us with a penis that large."

"Yeah, but it's sort of.....ummm......weird. I mean, I know you have
messed with his wee wee a lot, but I haven't. It's not as big of a
leap for you. You've been jonesing for that hunk of cock for the last
couple years."

"And Harriet," Hilda continued, poking a finger against Harriet's bra-
clad bazoom. "Look at what the fuck you have on your chest. Next to
me, you've got the biggest boobies in the whole fucking high school.
You've shared them with the whole football team, and the baseball
team, and the lacrosse team, and the soccer team. Hell, you even
gave 'sympathy fucks' to the chess club. You fucked those nerdy
fuckers. Henry is sort of being cheated here too, sweetheart. Look at
what he is missing. Think of him for a second."

"So now I'm supposed to be all altruistic and shit?" Harriet asked,
wondering for a second if she had fallen asleep and might be dreaming
an insane Humper boobie dream. "I mean, don't you think that Henry
and I...um........er........you know......fucking....is just a bit
messed up, even for this fucked up family?"

"Harriet, sweetheart," Hilda said soothingly, rubbing her daughter's
arm instead of her chest this time. "Just think of all the things
we've been missing. No one we know has a johnson bigger than Henry's
huge fuckstick. Think about it. Aren't you even a teensy bit curious
about how one that big would feel inside your cunny?"

"Geez, Mom," Harriet said, grudgingly agreeing with her cartoonishly-
canned mother. "When you put it that way. But what the fuck
difference does it make anyway? Henry's still up at the farm having
all his dirty wet dreams become reality. I mean, Grandma June does
all that shit already."

"But that's my point, Harriet," Hilda retorted with a smile, shaking
her own juggies up and down with a laugh. "And who is more of a REAL
and GENUINE Humper than your Granny. She just screams Humper the
minute you look at her. A 60-year-old still sexy stacked granny with
too much makeup, her blouse too low-cut and showing way too much
creamy cleavage, and her skirt hugging her big ol' Humper ass. Who is
more Humperesque than June Humper? I mean, honestly?"

"Not a fucking person that I can think of," Harriet stated, a smile
of realization spreading across her gorgeous face as she pulled her
brassiere off. "I'm just gonna shake 'em at the old guy who walks
past with his dog real quick. Tee hee."

"Now that's a Humper thing to do!" Hilda tittered, pulling off her
own blouse and bra and quickly going to join her at the
window. "Let's give him four udders, rather than just two! Tee hee!"

Running to the window and throwing it wide open, Hilda and Harriet
leaned out as far as they could, shaking their boobies to and fro for
the benefit of the man down below taking his dog for a walk.

"Yoo hoo, up here!" Hilda shouted, the two of them, mother and
daughter, giggling like a couple of adolescent schoolgirls as they
sported their big naked sets of wobblers. "I do believe Mr. Doggy
Walker is sporting a boner! Are you, Mr. Doggy Walker?"

"Hilda Humper, you should be ashamed of yourself," the gentleman
scolded her, laughing as he gaped at the two protruding pairs of
breasts hanging out the window. "But those four titties sure are a
sight for sore eyes. Damn, you Humper women could drive a man insane.
Thanks for the view, ladies!"

"Well, that was fun," Hilda giggled, closing the window again as they
both swung their big nude megaton titties back into the room. "Now,
where were we? Oh, yes. Don't you think it makes perfect sense,
Harriet? We Humpers have been given enormous blessings in the wee wee
and tittie department. Wouldn't it just be wrong not to take
advantage of them?"

"I guess you're right, Momma," Harriet agreed at last, still naked to
the waist down, and they both giggled as they shook their powerful
fleshy knockers at each other. "I mean, what the fuck? Like you've
told me over the years 'There's nothing to be afraid of. It's just a
wee wee.'"

"And it's attached to someone you love too," Hilda reasoned, one of
her fucking bigass funbags hitting her in the nose. "And someone that
I know would probably be pretty damn good in bed too, young lady. I
mean, Henry's a master with that dick of his, swingin' that telephone
pole pecker of his around and getting all the girls to fuck it."

"Yeah, all my friends tell me he's a good fuck. That's for sure,"
Harriet admitted, pulling on her own areola and sweet ripe nipples
until they hardened. "I mean, why should those white trash pseudo-
Humpers have all the fucking fun."

"There's only one problem though, Harriet," Hilda said with a tinge
of sadness in her voice as she sat her big ass and her big titties
down on the bed.

"What's that, Mom?" Harriet asked her mother as she plunked herself
down on the edge of the bed beside her, her boobies bouncing wildly.

"Henry isn't here, sweetie. And I don't think he will be here any
time soon. You know what Grandma June is like. She'll have that boy
so wrapped around her big bazoombas that he probably doesn't even
know what hit him yet. She's probably been on that pecker of his from
the moment he arrived at the farm."

"Yeah, that is a problem, Mom," Harriet agreed, although she herself
was slightly relieved that she would have at least some time to try
and absorb this new Humper family philosophy. "But won't he be coming
home soon?"

"I doubt it, baby." Hilda told her, shaking her head, and her Humper
bra-breaking breasts, from side to side. "When I called the other
day, he wanted to stay at the farm even longer."

"Oh, damn!" Harriet cursed, punching her mother lightly and playfully
in the right tittie and causing it to dimple and then wobble. "Then
how are we going to test his cock out now? If he was here, we could
go ahead and try it out and see how it fits and everything."

"Oh, I can't even imagine how it's gonna fit," Hilda moaned, her
boobs and her cunny tingling. "Ooooooo, I'll bet it's gonna be tight
when it goes in. Oooo, I'll bet it's gonna be reeeaall tight, baby.
That big solid fucktool of his squishing in and out and feeling all
big and girthy and shit. Mmmmmm, I can just feel it now."

"Gosh, Momma, that makes me sort of horny. Gee whiz, I wish Henry was
here, so we could play with him and do fun fucking shit and
everything," Harriet complained, jumping up and down on the bed,
sending her juggernauts into a wild leaping. "I mean, Humpers are
supposed to give pleasure, after all."

"Yes, sweetie, exactly. That is our mission in life. Our raison
d'etre. Don't you think we were given these bodies for a reason?"
Hilda said with a serious demeanor, poking each of her twin plumpers
in turn. "The Humper family has been given a great deal, don't you
think? And it's our duty to use our gifts wisely. Wouldn't it be a
shame to go through life never utilizing our gifts to the maximum?
All of a sudden I feel so proud to be a Humper!"

"You're bringing a tear to my eye, Mom," Harriet said with a naughty
wink as she raised one of her breasts and stuffed the nipple into her
pouty, bow-shaped mouth. "I feel like it's the fucking fourth of
July!"

"No need to be a smartass, Harriet," Hilda said with a girlish
giggle, laughing as her daughter sucked her own teat so
enthusiastically. "Maybe I did get a bit carried away, but I just
feel so glad to be a Humper woman!"

"I feel fucking proud as shit of that myself, Mom," Harriet admitted
between drags on her own tittie, licking and sucking her nipple and
areola until she felt her pussy tingle. "I mean, cause we fuck a lot
and all that good shit that feels good down in our pussies. And
Henry's fucking Granny like it's as normal as fucking day, and I
mean, I guess it shouldn't be surprising. It feels good as fuck to
his big hogleg of a cock. His cock is fucking humongous, and you're
right. We should be using it. That thing must be about this size."
Harriet moved her hands far apart to indicate the length of her
brother's penis.

"And that fucking thing is thick as a fucking log," Hilda laughed,
putting her own hands not quite as far apart to estimate its
girth. "Hoooollllly feeeucking shit, that thing is fucking
heeeeeeeugggge, Harriet."

"Yeah, but a fat lot of fucking good it does us," Harriet moped,
looking momentarily downcast, not sucking herself for the
moment. "Henry's still up at the farm with Grandma June and Grandpa
Ward, and if I know Grandma June, she's fucking the shit out of that
boy. He won't be coming home until at least the end of the summer, or
maybe even longer."

"I know, sweetie," Hilda said soothingly, feeling somewhat sad
herself, knowing that her jugs and her cunny would be the biggest
losers. "But at least it will give us something to look forward to.
Imagine how great it will be when Henry comes home and we are all
together again. Think of all the fun that we can have with that big
thing of his, can you imagine? We'll be the envy of every woman in
town."

"We're going to tell people?" Harriet asked, incredulously, not sure
she had heard right. "You'd actually tell people that we mess with
Henry's big fuckstick?"

"Well, why the fuck not?" Hilda reasoned, touching her own boobie and
then leaning to bite her own naked nipple, a reddish pinkish hue with
lovely large areola surrounding it, it was so fucking large. "I mean,
if we're enjoying ourselves, and Henry is humping us something fierce
and really utilizing our knockers the way we both know he should be.
I mean, here they are hanging out and swaying around, big fat
titties, beautiful with huge rosy nipples. He ought to be rubbing and
sucking and fucking the shit out of these things. Shoving his dick
between 'em and squirtin' that sticky shit all over the fucking
place. Think of all the jizz that'll be flying around this house.
He'll be squirtin' all the time, and plunging that huge fucktool into
us all the time. I mean, why the fuck not tell people about all that
wonderful shit?"

"That sounds all great and shit," said Harriet, seeing her mother's
point as she grinned with amusement at Hilda's tit self-
stimulation. "But if it got out at school that you and I mess with
Henry's jumbo johnson, I'll get the fuck teased out of me. You know
how kids can be."

"Oh come on, sweetie," Hilda responded, giving her nipple a gentle
flick of her tongue. "Just tell them you are a proud Humper woman,
and proud Humper women don't let a big fucking cock like Henry's go
to waste. If they still don't understand, then fuck 'em."

"Yeah, I guess you're right, Mom," Harriet said, feeling slightly
better as she poked her mom in her left boob with a finger. "I bet
most of them will be jealous as shit anyway. I know Bunnie will be
eating her heart out that I have unlimited access to the biggest
fucking pecker in town. I'll be the envy of every big-tittied whore
at Tafts and Adams High."

"See? Now there's the spirit," Hilda told her daughter. "Be a proud
Humper woman, Harriet! Be proud, Harriet! Stand up and jut those huge
fucking titties out and say 'My boobs are bigger than any of you
fucking bitches, and I'm not gonna sit by and let these plump
mountainous puppies go to waste!' That's what you've got to say!
WE'VE GOT TO STAND UP AND JUT OUR SHIT OUT, BIG AND FUCKING HUGE AS
WE ARE! MEN CAN'T RESIST THESE FUCKING HUMPER TITAN TITTIES! WE WILL
NOT BE ASHAMED!"

"I'm gonna do it, Momma! We've got to be unashamed of our
Humperesqueness! ALL OF IT! WE HAVE GOT TO HOLD OUR HEADS UP HIGH!"
Harriet announced, going to her feet and shaking her oversized jumbo
bazoombas until the weight of them almost rocked her full-figured
form. "When Henry gets here, we are going to say to the rest of Taft
and Adams 'We Humpers will not back down from you fuckers! Laugh if
you will, but WE are UTILIZING our TITS and our PUSSIES and big
Humper HORSECOCKS!' And then I'll dare them to laugh at our audacity!"

"Now that's my girl!" Hilda said proudly, puffing out her ponderous
chest charms accordingly. "We are proud Humper women. We come from a
long line of strong, beautiful and horny as hell Humper women and we
will not back down! We will fuck and suck Henry proudly! We will let
him play with our blouse puppies anytime, anywhere! Anyone who
doesn't like it can kiss my wide, white ass, ya hear?"

"Loud and clear, Mom," Harriet replied with a laugh, still making her
own melonous cans jump like fucking kangaroos. "If anyone dares to
make fun of me because of this, they will live to regret it. No one
fucks with proud, genuine Humper women!"

Raising their hands in unison, they clasped their hands together,
fingers intertwined and began bumping each other in the boobs. "Hip
hip hooray!" *bump* "Hip hip hooray!" *bump* "Tee hee hee, this is a
proud fucking moment in Humper history," Hilda giggled, as their two
tawdry pairs pummeled each other.

"Or tee hee, maybe TIT TIT HOORAY would be more appropriate!" Harriet
tittered, as she and her bodaciously bosomed mother smacked their two
sets of giant knockers together in proud Humper solidarity. "We
aren't going to let anything stand in our way now! I don't even care
if Chuck gets mad about this shit! I'm going to take Henry's wee wee
proudly and flaunt that fucking shit! I mean, Missy and Bunnie will
probably be swollen with envy over this shit! They both love Henry's
cock, and have been telling me for so long how good it feels in their
little cunnies! Well, my cunny's important too, damn it, and my cunny
won't be denied!"

"Well, hell yeah, your cunny deserves a huge and well-working
fucktool in it, baby!" Hilda agreed, hugging her proudly, their
titties squashing together as they embraced. "I just wish we could
get that well-hung boy home."

"Looks like your wish just came true, Mom," Henry Humper said,
walking into the room and giving his topless mother and sister a warm
hug. "You two haven't been fooling around, have you?"

"HENRY!" Hilda screamed out loud, hugging Henry's neck so hard that
he had to pry her arms and humongous titties apart to be able to
inhale. "Why are you home? How did you get here? How are Mommy and
Daddy?"

"Whoa, hold on. One question at a time," Henry told her, sitting down
on the corner of the bed and gaping at the beautiful boom booms of
his mother and sister. "Grandma and I had a bit of a disgreement, so
I decided it was time to come home, that's all."

"Disagreement, sweetie? What kind of disagreement?" Hilda asked,
sitting down beside Henry and patting his crotch
affectionately. "What happened, baby?"

"It's kind of a long story, Mom," Henry told her, taking off his
jacket and giving her lush, well-busted body a once-over. "But it
pretty much boiled down to that bitch wanting the toilet roll to come
underneath, not overtop. I can put up with a lot of stuff from a
woman, but not that shit. That was just too fucking much."

"The toilet roll?" Harriet asked in disbelief, her juggers still
bobbing up and down, nude and glorious from where she had just shaken
her udderly awesome pair of tits. "What are you talking about?" The
glee in her voice was evident, happy as shit that he was home so
unexpectedly.

"I'm talking about big-titted Granny being unreasonable. I mean, we
were in bed all the time and that shit was fucking great, but she
just wouldn't compromise on the toilet paper roll. That fucking paper
needs to hang down over the top. It makes it easier to tear off a
sheet of it evenly when I need to wipe the jizz off the end of my
cock after I come."

"Well, yeah, of course that makes sense, baby," Hilda agreed, hugging
him again and pressing her big breasts against his stomach with
intensity, feeling the warmth of their two bodies touching.

"I've missed you both," Henry told them sincerely, returning his
mother's hug by reaching down and giving both cheeks of her buttocks
a friendly squeeze, her ample ass more than filling up his huge,
masculine hands. "So what's been happening here since I've been gone?"

"Shit, I hate to admit it," Harriet said, pressing her left breast
into Henry's forearm as she too took him in a firm embrace. "But even
I missed you, little brother."

"Actually, Henry. Harriet and I have just been having a long talk,"
Hilda told Henry, sitting down on his lap so that her ass was pressed
against his private parts and her breasts flattened against his
chest. "And we have come to a pretty big decision. We have a new
Humper philosophy, baby."

"Well fuck, what is it?" Henry asked, his curiosity piqued and his
wee wee provoked by the miles of T & A in the room. "A new Humper
philosophy sounds pretty serious. Did I do something wrong?"

"No, Henry. I think you have been doing a lot of things right," Hilda
explained, smiling as her son gently touched her naked teats that
crushed hard against him. "You're out there on the farm, being a real
genuine Humper man, giving Granny that big ol' schlong any time she
wants that shit."

"Yeah, it's like real genuine Humper shit to do," Harriet concurred
with her, sitting down on his other side and leaning in to embrace
him herself, mashing her own set of puppies into his left
arm. "You're slipping her the stiff one all the fucking time,
showering together, sleeping together, and you know that ol' Grandpa
doesn't give a fucking shit about it. It's some funny hip shit to do,
you know?"

"Wow!" Henry exclaimed, looking back and forth at the two blonde
bombshells, shoving their milkwagons up close to him. "Sis, you
certainly sound a little different about this Wee Wee Camp shit! What
the fuck? And the two of you have your titties out in the middle of
the day too! I like that fucking shit!"

"We were shaking our cans out the window at that old guy who always
walks that funny-looking dog," Harriet giggled, her own cans shaking
uncontrollably. "He looked up and all he could see were these four
big bra bouncers hanging out the window. It was a fucking riot."

"Really, Mom, you are incorrigible," Henry laughed, patting his
mother's mammoth mammaries affectionately. "One of these days you're
going to give that old man a fucking heart attack with those things.
And you know how pissed his wife gets when you do that."

"Well, fuck her if she can't take a joke," Hilda giggled, rubbing her
finger absentmindedly along the length of Henry's fly. "Shaking my
cans out the window is the highlight of that old man's day. If he
dies of a heart attack, at least he'll go with a big woody and a
smile."

"I thought you two might be up here fooling around," Henry chuckled,
glancing over at his sister's massive whoppers. "Playing with each
other's tits and shit. Ha ha ha!"

"Oh, Henry, you are a sillyass fucker," Hilda replied, her index
finger tapping his crotch softly, almost thoughtfully. "That's sort
of icky for a genuine real Humper. I mean, we might smack our boobies
together for giggles and shit, but that's about it, you silly boy.
You are such a great fucking crazy Humper man, sporting your big
package all proudly and shit."

"Yep, Henry," Harriet added, rubbing one of her H-cup boobs against
her brother's arm methodically. "You are one genuine Humper man, and
that's pretty hot."

"What's with all this Humper nationalist talk?" Henry asked with a
puzzled look in his eyes that took in nothing but tit in its
perspective. "I mean, are we getting ready for a family reunion or
something?"

"No, not a reunion, sweetie," Hilda chuckled, as both she and her
daughter surrounded him with their deliciously fleshy boobahs. "We
just had that family reunion last summer, remember? I don't want to
get together with those crazy fuckers again any time soon. Though I
did suck a dick or two while I was there."

"Shit, yeah," Henry agreed, pawing at his mother's breasts
playfully. "I thought our side of the family was pretty fucking
warped until I met some of Grandpa Ward's insane relatives. So what
were you and Harriet talking about?"

"Well, Henry," said Hilda, smacking his hand away from her breasts
and getting serious for a minute. "Harriet and I were talking, and
we've come to a pretty momentous decision, that's all."

"What? You're going to try and fuck all the men in this corner of the
state?" Henry asked, then ducked as his mother aimed a swat at his
shoulder. "Sorry, Mom. I was just kidding."

"No, Henry, and stop being facetious," Hilda told him sternly, moving
her large breasts away from him a couple inches. "This is serious
stuff."

"Okay, you be Serious. I'll be Henry," he laughed at her, attempting
again to grab her boobs.

"Henry, listen to Mommy," Harriet told him with an urgency in her
voice as her own breasts moved even closer to his body as the talk
progressed. "This is important shit we are talking about, little
brother. Just listen and lay off the wisecracks for a sec."

"All right, all right," Henry said at last, prying his eyes away from
both their pairs of hooters and putting his hands in his lap, Hilda
having removed her fingers from his crotch to converse in a non-
distracting sort of way.

"Henry, when Harriet and I were up here taking our bras off and
flashing the dog-walker, we got to thinking about what it means to be
real Humpers. I got a call from Tammy Faye Humper today, and she told
me some things about their family's trailer park existence that got
me thinking."

"You bought a trailer?" Henry asked, frowning in horror at the
thought.

"Ha ha ha, very funny," Hilda replied, laughing despite herself, her
watermelon tits turned away from him for the moment. "Now shut up and
listen to me, okay?"

"Sorry, Mom. I just couldn't resist," Henry said in defense, deciding
that another attempted grope for her jugs might be a bad idea. "But
I'll stop. What were you saying?"

"I was saying that I had a long talk with Tammy Faye and she told me
some things that really got me thinking. I talked it over with
Harriet and she agrees with me, so we have come to a decision. A
decision that will affect all of us."

"You're getting breast implants?" Henry asked hopefully, stealing
another surreptitious glance at his maternal parent's quivering chest
charms. "Holy shit, that's fucking terrific!"

"NO, Henry, we are NOT getting breast implants. Can you be serious
for two minutes?"

"Alright, alright. I'll be quiet. Now what is it you're trying to
tell me?"

"I am trying to tell you, Henry, something that is going to change
all our lives, baby," Hilda still spoke seriously, but she turned her
boobs and crushed in harder on him and her hand went back to his
crotch and began to rub the little semi-bulge that was already
stirring. "This is going to be cataclysmic, in a good fucking way,
and it's going to have a real serious effect on your wee wee too."

"As well as some other parts," Harriet added, her own giant titters
heaving with excitement, the inward burgeoning thrill of what was to
come in the way of sexual adventures. "All kinds of shit is going to
be affected by this new fucking change in this house. We are HUMPERS,
for fuck's sake! Talk, Mom! Tell him that fucking shit! Break that
shit down! I'm sick of the fucking suspense! I want to break the hold
of this middle-class tableau!"

"Alright, Henry," Hilda told him, taking her hand in his and looking
him directly in the eye, making deep eye contact. "Harriet and I have
talked it over and we have decided to...um..er...well...um."

"Just spit it out already!" Henry shouted anxiously, resuming his
rubbing of her Humper honkers. "The suspense is fucking killing me!"

"Sorry, sweetie," Hilda cooed, stroking his thigh with the back of
her hand as her udders encompassed him. "You know all that shit
you've been doing with Grandma June up at the farm?"

"Mom, it's pretty fucking unlikely I'm going to forget that shit,"
Henry told her sarcastically, gingerly fingering a nipple hard-
on. "Even if my mind forgets, my wee wee sure won't. Ha ha."

"Well, baby," Hilda said in a slightly breathy whisper, cupping his
crotch and kneading her tittie bombs hard against him. "Harriet and I
are prepared to do all that shit at home."

"What the fuck?" Henry asked in surprise, jumping to his feet as his
wee wee instantly jumped to attention in his trousers. "Did I fucking
hear you correctly?"

"Oh, you bet you did," Harriet cooed, standing up at the same time as
her mother, both the women moving towards the erect youth, their
shifting sets of udders wobbling luxuriantly as they approached
him. "We are ready to do all that genuine Humper shit that Nana has
been doing to you for the last week and a half. I guess I just never
realized that we weren't utilizing our bodies the way we should have
been. Look at our titties, Henry, and don't be ashamed of how hard
they make your big fucking cock. Admit it. Your wee wee wants your
sis and your mommy, doesn't he?"

"Oh, I'm about to jizz my pants right now," Henry admitted, reaching
out and laying a hand atop her huge right tit, his other hand
grabbing his mother's left one.

"Henry, Harriet and I were scared to death that you might not be home
for months," Hilda admitted, moaning as he gripped her knocker and
grabbing the huge lump in his pants and giving it a strong forceful
squeeze. "But thank goodness you hauled your horsecock back home at
just the right time."

"I probably would have stayed up at the farm all summer, if it hadn't
been for that toilet roll shit," Henry said brightly, caressing their
dough-like bosoms, his horsecock standing at almost full attention,
pitching a huge tent in the front of his Dockers. "All that pussy was
great, but not great enough for me to put up with that shit. Why are
women so fucking irrational sometimes?"

"Never mind that now, baby," Hilda purred, her own libido rising as
she reached out and stroked the bulge in her son's pants. "So what do
you think of the idea, baby?"

"Well shit, I think it's pretty fanfuckingtastic!" Henry cried out,
burying his face in his mother's gigantic jubblies and weeping for
joy. "I fucking love being a Humper!"

"I'm so proud of you both," Hilda said with a proud maternal grin,
laughing as Henry backed his face out of her Bermuda Triangle
cleavage. "Just think of all the fun we'll have. These big titties
and Henry's big horsecock. Ohhhh, it brings a tear to my eyes."

Harriet, not wanting to feel left out, placed her hand on the bulge
in Henry's pants and both she and her mother rubbed it lovingly with
their hands as Henry touched and kneaded their two sets of Boobsie
Twins.

"Well, fuck me motherfucking sideways! This is going to be some
really fun fucking shit!" Henry whooped, pinching their nipples and
gently twisting as both of his two favorite stacked women moaned
their approval and rubbed his cock fiercely through the fabric. "We
need to get naked and do some of this shit we've been talking about,
ladies. My cock needs to get out and get some air."

"That ain't all your cock's gettin', little brother," Harriet giggled
like a schoolgirl who was handling her first penis, and had finally
popped her boobies out of their bra for the first time. "Maybe we
need to get our clothes off and just see what happens."

Fifteen minutes later.......

"Tee hee hee, this is so much fucking fun!" Harriet Humper shrieked
as she and her mother and brother stood in the large shower in
Hilda's bathroom, both sets of female hands on Henry's huge Humper
humpstick, their big hills of titmeat jutting in his direction. "I'll
lather up the head, Mom!"

"Alright, sweetie, go ahead," Hilda urged her daughter as Henry
reached out both hands to paw at his mother's and sister's big wobbly
jugs. "I don't know why we waited so long for this, kids. Who knew
what fun we were missing?"

"Well we can sure make up for lost time!" Henry whooped, leaning down
to catch one of his mother's nipples in his mouth as he fondled her
other boobie with his hands. "I'm not sure what Tammy Faye said to
you to lead you to this point, but I think I'll write that white
trash whore a thank you note tomorrow!"


THE END